Everything I Love Has Been Taken from Me

1. First Mc'D's removed the supersize fountain soda from their menu in a draconian measure to prove themselves more health conscious--who in gods' name was sold on that one--and far more obviously, to increase profits by reducing our volume buying.

2. Next Joss Weedon programming was removed form the airwaves. (Am I glad no one is reading this—confessions of an emotionally retarded escapist...)

3. Then while completely motionless in front of a red light, some #^$^&%^^&* set of evil p.d.y.'er triplets nailed the Justy. (As if I needed another reason to hate the culture destroying bastards.) The body shop guy has indicated that if the value of the damage exceeds the value of the car they will take the Justy from me. By that logic a broken mirror would qualify the Justy for destruction. After the successful factory transmission replacement of the early 2000's such a response seems barbaric and unjustified.

Can I refuse the insurance claim and keep the car? Can I take my case to court arguing that the car is a dependent? What about my plans for art car semiretirement? Have I been collecting bags full of plastic toys for naught?

I can’t breathe when I contemplate life without my shinning turquoise blue gem. I had been so sure of our glorious end TOGETHER---turquoise blue streak marking the way to our final cement, metal, blood, flesh, silicone adhesive and plastic toy end.

I try to consol myself by imaging a new life in Montreal. I suppose I could learn French for the move to public transport. (And of course better pastries). I’ve been looking for an excuse to leave since the election. But these are all futile attempts to keep the crushing grief and despair at bay. I breakdown crying, cursing the vicious fate that works toward our final separation.

Last night I stood by TFJ in the moonlight. The damage was severe, the body racked into crumpled and skewed disfigurement. I could only imagine the internal damage. Only the dash remained unwounded. It still glowed with a lifetime of promise, of our journeys and adventures together, speeding as one toward the setting sun. And I wondered how I could ever leave.

I am deeply despondent.

The unknowing scoff at my loss and devastation. I cannot fault them for their lack of sympathy or even understanding. This world is empty of passion.

I can’t stop crying….....